Betty ford says i'm here all night
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
I just walked into my kitchen and my little brother is standing with his face two inches from the clock, staring at it, and eating an apple. I asked wtf he was doing and he just goes "the hour hand is moving VERY slowly".
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
Randomize
