i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
Randomize
