Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
I look excited, but its just a facade.
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
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