Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
Randomize