What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
Why is there bacon in the couch?
Randomize
