his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
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