dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
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