the condom got lost in my hair
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
You sent me a very drunk love letter
Was it the one about pterodactyls?
I was disappointed I thought you actually loved me
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
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