Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Randomize
