2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
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