At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
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