I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
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