i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
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