what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
Randomize