gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
She even gives head with a lisp.
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
Randomize
