did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
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