Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
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