whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
Randomize
