I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
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