Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
Also, my phone suggested the phrase “puke in the mailbox" how many times have I had the need to text that to people?
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
Randomize
