ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
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