it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
Randomize
