i'm returning your mother's day gift to finance my alcoholism over the next week.
so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize
