do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
everytime i eat a fruit i feel like i'm eating ovaries
Do vagina's smell?
I just saw a San Diego firetruck. No wonder they can't figure out how to fight wildfires if they get so fucking lost they end up in Nebraska.
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
Randomize
