He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
