highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
Randomize
