Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
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