weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize
