oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
We are two peas in an std pod
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
Randomize
