first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
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