after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
How can I explain how nice he is to you? ...like, I'm going to have to have my world famous why being a douche is sexy talk.
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
Randomize
