i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize
