have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
Have you ever felt like autocorrect is judging you with its suggested words? Like how it won't suggest certain words until you type in pretty much the entire word, is it just thinking 'No way did this dude use "consent laws" in the same sentence as "17th?" Or is that just me.
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
that is very illegal...i love you.
Randomize
