Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
got in a fight at the bar because some dude thought i was being sarcastic when i told him "sweet mustache". it really was a sweet mustache
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
Randomize
