No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
Randomize