She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
Randomize
