it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
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