arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
Randomize
