Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
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