It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
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