Just fell off a train. Bad.
Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
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