SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
Randomize
