i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
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