then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
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