Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Randomize
