I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
Randomize
