if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
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