Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
I look excited, but its just a facade.
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
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