So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
Randomize
