need another drink. this is the easiest way
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
we're so committed to being not committed
I'm both gender and math confused
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize
