I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
Send help, water and tortillas.
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
Randomize
