Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
Randomize
