don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
You know what would have been funny if we got arrested last night? The inventory search of the lock box:\n\nContents:\n1 work ID\n1 33 round Glock magazine\n1 set of keys\n1 vibrator\n2 bags fruit snacks\n1 parking hang tag
I enjoy the company of your penis
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
Randomize
