he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
Randomize
