Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
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