i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
Randomize
