she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
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