I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
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