I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
Randomize
