Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
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