I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
Randomize
