I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
Randomize
